If the green outweighs the cream, it’s kind of like being punched in the face by a bag of leaf mulch. Some brands add a lot more matcha than others, and that can be too much of a good thing. Even if you don’t care for it alone, you might appreciate it when it’s mixed with sweet cream the edges round out, but it retains a solid astringent finish. Matcha is a green tea powder, quite strong and tannin-forward. This flavor is perfect for someone who favors complex and bitter over flat and sweet. It’s much more successful than the lime, but if I’m going for citrus of any kind, I’ll usually skip the dairy and choose an ice or slush. Like the Key lime, lemon ice cream is best served with cookie bits. On the other hand, if it’s sweetened with maple syrup, it might rise a few notches. If it’s only cinnamon oil, it’s like eating frozen Red Hots and belongs near the bottom of the list. The warmth of real cinnamon is a nice foil for cold cream, as long as it’s real ground cinnamon. Cinnamon Robert Kneschke / Alamy Stock Photo The cream blunts the zippy freshness of the lime too much, condemning it to be just a shadow of its greatness in pie form, forever a disappointment. The best ones have graham cracker bits, but they never quite reach the summit that is the pie. This is my favorite pie flavor, but I have yet to find a Key lime ice cream that I thought really worked. It’s a great concept, but in execution, it deserves the axe. The alleged cookie dough bits are too hard, without the fudgy texture of the real deal, and the chocolate chips are all wrong for melting in a bite of ice cream. ![]() That’s not what’s in cookie dough ice cream, though. Cookie Dough Heather Winters / Getty ImagesĪlthough I plead with you not to risk the food poisoning that’s possible with eating real raw cookie dough, I understand its delicious appeal. Also, they’re the centerpiece of the best scene in 1991’s fifth top-grossing movie, "City Slickers." Having sautéed sea bass, potatoes au gratin and asparagus for dinner? Don’t forget a pint of this one. The raisins are soaked in literal rum, so they’re softer than you may be thinking they will be, and their potent raisin-y nip is curbed by the fat in the cream. I know, I know! You hate the very idea, but have you ever actually tried it? I don’t like raisins, yet I still kind of like this one, and a little controversy over trivial things is what makes life worth living. The only acceptable version is cherry chocolate chip, and even then, it’s objectively the worst chocolate chip. When chilled, some of the woody, tannic flavors that make a cherry pie such a delight are so muted as to be undetectable. Or worse, they use the mortal sin of fake cherry flavor. I have had a couple of artisan cherry ice creams that used a lot of real black cherry or tart cherry puree, but usually, cherry ice cream uses varieties that aren’t very interesting, as though they’re left over after the crop has been picked through for maraschino purposes. To make matters worse, the flavors of the cake and ice cream are typically indistinguishable. Cake batter flavor, in which there is no bogged-down cake but there is fake cake flavor permeating the entire scoop, is similarly hamstrung by too much of a good thing.Īlso, I hate sprinkles. I like cake and I like ice cream, but somehow birthday cake flavor is the worst of both worlds - the often-sodden cake detracts from the ice cream, and the ice cream overwhelms the cake. Birthday Cake / Cake Batter Anjelika Gretskaia / Alamy Stock Photo The city of Naples should sue for defamation. If strawberry is your favorite, you’re particularly unfortunate, because Neapolitan strawberry is objectively the worst strawberry. Neapolitan Brent Hofacker / Getty ImagesĪ mix of three flavors is purported to mean everyone is happy, but in practical terms, it means no one is. And the all-too-common blue coloring? Insult to injury. Whoever said, "Even bad ice cream is pretty good," has never had this flavor. Too sweet, too flat and irretrievably boring. These are precisely the same flavor - and it is bad. I know there is someone out there claiming these are two distinct flavors, and I regret to inform you that you are tragically deluded. There just happen to be thirty-one, like a certain famous ice cream shop, but it’s a complete coincidence. When you’re standing in front of the cold case, it can be so hard to choose just one perfect scoop! Let’s talk about the most common varieties. ![]() Some flavors are better left on the trash heap of culinary history. With that iconic foundation of fat, protein and sugar with a veritable smorgasbord of possible added flavors and textures, you could have a different kind of ice cream every day for a year - but that’s not always a good thing. Nine times out of 10, I’d rather have real ice cream. You can have your sunny-day sorbets, ices, slushes and sherbets.
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